"Barbershop for the Bald"

COMEDY 🤡

Barbershop for the Bald
by Jacob M.

Dear Readers,

Old Man Jacob had no hair,
Not a strand, not one to spare.
His scalp shone bright like morning toast,
Yet still, he bragged and liked to boast:

"I need a trim," he said with flair,
"A stylish cut with extra care!"
He marched into the barber’s place
With a polished dome and wrinkled face.

The barbers paused. The razors froze.
One whispered, “Does he think it grows?”
But Jacob sat with regal pride
As though a mane grew side to side.

“Good sir,” said Rohidas, the rookie hand,
“You seem to have...a hairless land.”
But Jacob snapped, “Don’t be absurd!
My follicles are just reserved.”

“I want the Classic Gentle Fade,
The one where sideburns never fade.
And maybe carve a lightning bolt
Like Zeus, when giving mortals a jolt.”

He handed cash, five hundred flat.
(He’d sold his cousin’s Persian cat.)
The barbers shrugged. “Let’s entertain,”
And started spraying mousse and mane.

They trimmed the air, they snipped with grace,
They shaved the wind around his face.
A towel steamed an empty crown,
While Jacob sighed and gazed around.

“Mirror, boys! Reveal the art!”
And with a spin, they played their part.
They placed a wig, bright purple dye,
Upon his head, five inches high!

He gasped, then wept. “It’s...just divine!
I look like Bowie when he’d shine!”
He hugged them all, he tipped them thrice,
Then left with a strut and hair of spice.

But down the lane, a gust did rise,
The wind howled with sneaky eyes.
The wig took flight like a bat from a cave,
While Jacob waved and shouted, “SAVE!”

It hit a nun, then danced on the fence.
A dog took chase, and the scene was tense.
The children clapped. A pigeon cried.
A grandma fainted, then high-fived.

Poor Jacob stood, once more quite bare,
But shouted loudly, “I paid for hair!”
The barbers cheered, “He’ll be back soon,
When he requests a silver swoon.”

JacobM